#Bachelor #contestants #talk #terrible
7 former ‘The Bachelor’ contestants talk: ‘It was terrible’
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“The Bachelor” is far from doling out its final rose. The reality show is celebrating 20 polyamorous years of cocktail parties, cat fights and fantasy suites, with no signs of slowing down.
But in its two decades, the series has very rarely produced long-term love. In 26 seasons of “The Bachelor” and 19 of its spin-off “The Bachelorette,” only seven couples are still married.
Here, seven former “Bachelor” contestants, some of whom went on to become “The Bachelorette,” chatted with the Page Six about how the show changed their lives for better and for worse.
Sydney Lotuaco: Found love via ‘The Bachelor’ — just not on the show
Lotuaco’s schtick on season 23 of “The Bachelor,” filmed in 2019, was that she was 27 and had never had a boyfriend.
“I was struggling to find a relationship so I spent so much time focusing on career. I was living in New York as a Knicks City Dancer when I auditioned for the show. I was extremely single so I thought, ‘Why not take this opportunity to see if it will make a relationship work for me?’” she told Page Six. “I was really hopeful about what it could do for me.”
But she was one of four women who walked out on bachelor Colton Underwood on air. “I just didn’t feel like he was as interested in me as he was in some of the other women,” Lotuaco, 31, said. Underwood, who did not propose to his final-rose contestant, came out as gay two years later.
What Lotuaco didn’t know at the time was that her own true love was watching. Fan Nick Wehby, an account director at a facilities services company in Cincinnati, slid into her Instagram DMs shortly after she got home.
Messaging turned into texting, which eventually turned into hours-long FaceTime sessions. “This was all in the span of three months, and we had never even met in person yet,” Lotuaco said. “Finally, I visited him in Cincinnati and that was that.”
She moved from Los Angeles to Ohio, where she now works as a fitness instructor at dance cardio studio AKT. The couple is getting married in May of next year.
“In a way, I kind of did find love through the show because Nick saw me there and realized I am something special,” Lotuaco said. “I am so happy.”
Estella Gardinier: Nineteen years later, this ‘Bachelor’ winner is finally married
When Estella Gardinier competed for Bob Guiney’s heart on the fourth season of “The Bachelor,” which aired in September 2003, “Things were pretty different. I call it ‘the very vintage Bachelor,’” the fitness studio owner based in Encinitas, Calif., told Page Six. “There was no Instagram back then, so no one really questioned whether or not you were there for any other reason than to find love. All I ever wanted was to be in a happy and loving relationship.”
She was the last woman standing, although Guiney gave her a promise ring — not an engagement ring — and the two broke up shortly after the finale aired.
“After ‘The Bachelor,’ I felt so exposed and it led to this hesitancy about dating and being vulnerable because everyone knew everything about me already,” said Gardinier, 46.
In the years after, she was in three serious relationships, none of which led to a proposal. Finally, in 2020, she enlisted professional help: a “high-level coach to help me get to the root cause of what was keeping me from what I desired most: a loving and lasting partnership.”
“For so long, I felt like everything was great in my life, but I wanted to be married and have a family,” she said. “So, right before the pandemic, I actually paid someone to help me optimize the online dating process.”
She met her match — a sales director at a shipboard solution provider — on Match.com and they married in June of 2022. “[The coach] was worth every penny because my husband and I met right away and fell in love.” she said.
“I didn’t end up leaving ‘The Bachelor’ in a serious, committed relationship, but I have no regrets about being on the show,” Gardinier said. “It was challenging and I was young, so I didn’t know how to navigate the craziness once it all ended, but the experience helped me grow.”
Tammy Ly: This villain would ‘rather be forgiven than forgotten’
Syracuse native Tammy Ly has a bone to pick with “The Bachelor” after becoming a two-time villain on “The Bachelor” (2020) and the spin-off series “Bachelor in Paradise” (2021).
“It’s hard to make a name for yourself by being anything but white in this franchise,” Ly, 27, told Page Six. (In 20 years, there have been only three leads of color in the “Bachelor”/”Bachelorette” universe: Rachel Lindsay in 2017, Matt James in 2020 and Michelle Young in 2021.)
On the 24th season of “The Bachelor,” Peter Weber eliminated Ly after she had a heated confrontation with fellow contestant Mykenna Dorn over being “immature.”
She was portrayed by fans online as stirring the pot on more than one occasion, including when she told Weber that one of the other contestants was a heavy drinker and used prescription drugs.
“It’s so disappointing that I was considered the villain that season … I’m not given the same fair chance as the blonde white girls,” Ly said. “I was never going to be a fan favorite.”
That said, her brutal experience on the show didn’t poison Ly — who works as a real-estate agent, insurance broker and bartender, bouncing between Southern California and her native Upstate New York — from getting back out there.
“Dating is really fun. You need to just not put pressure on yourself and your date. Seriously, that is the trick,” she said. “I figured, dating out here in the real world can’t get as bad as it was on the show, so why not be open-minded?
“After ‘The Bachelor’ I was struggling pretty badly with the massive volume of hate I was getting,” Ly admitted. “But, honestly, it all worked out in the end. I’d rather be forgiven than forgotten.”
Whitney Bischoff Angel: Ditched her ‘Bachelor’ fiancé
Whitney Bischoff, accepted both the final rose and a four-carat diamond from Chris Soules on the 19th season of “The Bachelor,” in 2015. But everything wasn’t so rosy.
“It was extremely difficult coming off of the show. Wherever I went, people recognized me and had opinions about everything I did, and I wasn’t prepared for that,” said Bischoff, now 37. “It was also difficult to have such a public breakup.”
She and Soules split after just six months — and just four months later, the Chicago-based fertility nurse swiped right on her current husband, sales manager Ricky Angel. Married since 2017, they have a three-year-old son, Hayes.
“After the show, I just wanted to go back to my normal life, and I did,” she explained. “When some people get their 15 minutes, they crave more. For me, though, it was too much. I love what I do as a nurse and as a mother, and I never want to step away from it — especially for fame. I’m so glad I let that aspect of my life go so I could focus on the things that matter most.”
“Do I have any regrets? Honestly, no,” Bischoff said.. “It was definitely hard — especially after it was all said and done. But the show helped me realize what I am looking for and what I won’t settle for.”
Ashley Hebert: Attacked by fans for divorcing her TV love
For nearly a decade, Ashley Hebert and J.P. Rosenbaum were one of the franchises’ few success stories.
They got engaged on “The Bachelorette” in 2011, after she had previously been booted from “The Bachelor,” wed in 2012, had kids Ford, 7, and Essie, 5 — but divorced nine years years later.
“We both tried so hard in our marriage and made the joint decision to go our separate ways. It’s been pretty seamless,” Hebert, a pediatric dentist in Miami, told Page Six. “People think so negatively about divorce, but it can be a good thing for families sometimes.”
Though the logistics of her split may have been smooth, what came next was “brutal.”
“No one knew the insides of our divorce, but everyone showed up on my social media accounts to attack me — the woman and the mother — for separating our family,” Hebert said. “It made me realize how important it is to stand up for myself and be my own advocate.”
While some former leads and contestants have made a career out of their post “Bachelor” fame — continuing to appear on reality shows and promoting themselves on social media — “living in that world was really challenging and it was never for me,” the 38-year-old said. “Even on the show, which is when I was training to become a dentist, I always knew that I would go back to my career. That was never a question, regardless of how everything turned out.”
She’s also dating food blogger Yanni Georgoulakis, after meeting him through mutual friends. “I’m so happy with my normal life these days, you know?” Hebert said. “I feel like I live this perfect, small, happy life.”
Michelle Young: Left her job after her ‘Bachelorette’ breakup
Like 15 of the 19 Bachelorettes before her, Michelle Young left the show engaged — to Nayte Olukoya — only to wind up single months later.
“I’m glad I gave it a shot,” Young, 29, told The Post. “It didn’t end how I wanted it to, but I did find love.”
A fifth grade teacher in Minneapolis, she starred as “The Bachelorette” during summer break in 2021; this summer, she’s been nursing a broken heart.
“Right now, I’m going through a breakup and heartbreak, so I’m just taking the summer for myself,” she said, adding that she’s not dating at the moment. And Young is hitting pause on her career as well. “I’m taking a leave of absence next year to make sure that I’m taking care of myself. I need a second.”
Though “The Bachelorette” — and not being selected on “The Bachelor” in 2020 as well — left her brokenhearted, Young doesn’t see herself giving love another go on TV.
“I wont say never, but it’s unlikely,” she said with a laugh. “I am really wanting to spend more time with someone to get to know him fully before committing. The shows don’t set you up for that.”
Desiree Hartsock: Happily married to the ‘Bachelor’ fans said she ‘settled’ for
Desiree Hartsock was kicked off “The Bachelor” in 2013 only to find love as “The Bachelorette” later that year — but her happy-ever-after with now-husband Chris Siegfried was famously not well-received by fans.
“People thought he was my backup choice and said things like I should have been with this other guy” — Brooks Forester, a frontrunner who unexpectedly chose to leave. “Ultimately, I made the right decision choosing Chris, and when you’re at your happiest, you just want to shout it to the world, but people really didn’t understand it,” Hartsock, 35, told Page Six.
She wed Siegfried in 2015, two years after their love story aired. Hartsock designs gowns for her online bridal shop, Desiree Hartsock Bridal, and he is a mortgage lender; they share kids Zander, 3, and Ashe, 5.
As for her experience as “The Bachelorette,” Desiree said: “It was terrible. I’m naturally emotional and sensitive, so for my personality type, it was extremely difficult. It was hard for me to be on the show managing that many emotions without having my alone time to process. I was overwhelmed the entire time.”
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