Why these stars openly talk about pregnancy loss
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It’s been seven weeks with Zulai, just a few months after she and Kevin decided that the coronavirus pandemic and subsequent closure of their industry together was actually the perfect time to start building their family. “I thought, ‘Okay, everything is closed.’ The studios are closed. Agencies do not work. This is our time,” she explained. “As you can see, it didn’t go as planned.”
Instead, as she dealt with the physical pain of her loss (“You’re not going to miscarry and it’s just going to go away, even physically. You’re in this for a long time, where your body has to heal”), an inner turmoil nearly destroyed her. “You feel ashamed, you think, ‘Wow, my body couldn’t do that,'” he shared If loving you is wrong actress.
“I remember thinking about all the reasons, just microanalyzing everything I did and everything I didn’t do,” she continued. “Like, ‘I was driving home too late that night and I drove over that pothole.’
She even blamed her family for letting her leave her mother’s house that night. “You have so much emptiness and shame and anger that you feel towards yourself,” she explained. “I was angry with my doctor. I just lashed out a little at everyone, including my family. Like, “Why did you guys let me do this?”